/page/2

2014

Lately I have been making the effort to grow more detached from what society compartmentalizes of what is right and wrong. With each passing day, I grow more in-tune with who I am, where I want to be, and with the world I view. I’m thinking this is a direct correlation to my happiness. Cheers.

I feel as if the only subject I ever blog about are the times when I am upset. I suppose it is just a whirlwind to be happy; I am too busy smiling to sit down and write. Maybe it is a coping mechanism, maybe it is a cry for help. Whatever it may be, it is the only time where I will truly chain myself down and stare at the ugly reflection of the pain glaring back at me. 

I was raised to be strong, to be patient, and to have faith. Rarely do I lecture a companion about the raw pain I am experiencing, I would rather deal with it in solitude, that is, if I deal with it at all. Usually I cannot figure out what it is im feeling or why. I only know how it burns and cripples my thoughts. 

Today is much different. I am not sad, I am not broken-hearted, I am filled with fear. I do not fear what I won’t accomplish, I fear what the demon in my mind will tell my heart when I fail. I do not fear that I am not good enough, I am good enough, in fact I am better than good enough. I fear that all of my effort will go unnoticed because someone else is not good enough, and I will blame myself. 

I have grown more than I could have ever imagined in the past two years but now I am at a cross-roads standing in a ghost town where at both ends, my demon awaits. I am petrified to take a step, to blink, to breathe. I know when I take that final step and I am face to face with my uglier self, she will lean over and whisper in my ear with a cold, emotionless tone “you are mine”. That is fear, I am my own demon. 

I pray that I will never have to hear her voice or bare her piercing gaze but she is always there. I am trying my hardest to pull away, weak as I am deep inside these brittle bones. But I turn around and see the path I traveled, that once was dry and empty; a place where we had met before. That path is now illuminated, too bright to turn back. So I close my eyes, take a deep breath as I tremble, and take a step, because I know when I turn around there will be light. One day she will not be there, the diverging path will be one, and I will walk with confidence down an illuminated path with the memory of the desert I crossed.

Each day I tell myself, just one more step.

Here I am under a heavy hand. Now more than ever it seems like every point of my being is being pulled at; plucked meticulously. I cannot move on my own, but because I must. I am clinging so desperately to the insignificant amount of whatever is left within me. I pray for deliverance because I am not capable of liberating myself. I want to be free but how can I accept a hand, even my own? My consciousness is clouded and my chest pinned.    I thought I had escaped this and then I looked up.

Here I am under a heavy hand. Now more than ever it seems like every point of my being is being pulled at; plucked meticulously. I cannot move on my own, but because I must. I am clinging so desperately to the insignificant amount of whatever is left within me. I pray for deliverance because I am not capable of liberating myself. I want to be free but how can I accept a hand, even my own? My consciousness is clouded and my chest pinned.    I thought I had escaped this and then I looked up.

This is how I feel today. 
These days I wake up, throw on some lipstick and heels then raise hell. It’s good to be a woman. And I am one hell of a woman.

This is how I feel today. 

These days I wake up, throw on some lipstick and heels then raise hell. It’s good to be a woman. And I am one hell of a woman.

The key to happiness and success, through google sketchup terminology:
when starting out between the x and y axis, hit control + Z, Orbit tool, Hand tool then Move tool back to the point of origin. 
(step back, change your perspective and start again)

The key to happiness and success, through google sketchup terminology:

when starting out between the x and y axis, hit control + Z, Orbit tool, Hand tool then Move tool back to the point of origin. 

(step back, change your perspective and start again)

How im feelin this mornin

How im feelin this mornin

(Source: canniblizz)

im a little twiggy today<3

im a little twiggy today<3

Smart is the new Sexy.
I always feel much more attractive when I am doing things like developing 24 page business plans. Hard work pays off and we all know that button-down/pencil skirt combo is always a smart choice;)

Smart is the new Sexy.

I always feel much more attractive when I am doing things like developing 24 page business plans. Hard work pays off and we all know that button-down/pencil skirt combo is always a smart choice;)

Want a memorable first date, Cant go wrong pullin this little number.

Want a memorable first date, Cant go wrong pullin this little number.

I used to fall so head over heels for men. Being the one to text them, always thinking of them, hoping for someone to catch me.
Now that is not the case. I discovered my power. Now I designate, sit back, and just watch it all unfold. Let the games begin boys. 

I used to fall so head over heels for men. Being the one to text them, always thinking of them, hoping for someone to catch me.

Now that is not the case. I discovered my power. Now I designate, sit back, and just watch it all unfold. Let the games begin boys. 

Becoming a better woman.
These days I do things for me. 
Work out, Eat smart, Stand tall, Speak sweetly, Try harder, Tie up loose ends, Wait patiently, Take action, Forgive, Believe passionately: Get what you want.

Becoming a better woman.

These days I do things for me. 

Work out, Eat smart, Stand tall, Speak sweetly, Try harder, Tie up loose ends, Wait patiently, Take action, Forgive, Believe passionately: Get what you want.

heyitsanthonys said: Can we have to have another drinking day where we twerk by your pool?

can we do it like now. That was the greatest day of my life.

2014

Lately I have been making the effort to grow more detached from what society compartmentalizes of what is right and wrong. With each passing day, I grow more in-tune with who I am, where I want to be, and with the world I view. I’m thinking this is a direct correlation to my happiness. Cheers.

fatseux:

Amen.

fatseux:

Amen.

(Source: delacroi, via cherieenchantee)

Living in lust &lt;3

Living in lust <3

I feel as if the only subject I ever blog about are the times when I am upset. I suppose it is just a whirlwind to be happy; I am too busy smiling to sit down and write. Maybe it is a coping mechanism, maybe it is a cry for help. Whatever it may be, it is the only time where I will truly chain myself down and stare at the ugly reflection of the pain glaring back at me. 

I was raised to be strong, to be patient, and to have faith. Rarely do I lecture a companion about the raw pain I am experiencing, I would rather deal with it in solitude, that is, if I deal with it at all. Usually I cannot figure out what it is im feeling or why. I only know how it burns and cripples my thoughts. 

Today is much different. I am not sad, I am not broken-hearted, I am filled with fear. I do not fear what I won’t accomplish, I fear what the demon in my mind will tell my heart when I fail. I do not fear that I am not good enough, I am good enough, in fact I am better than good enough. I fear that all of my effort will go unnoticed because someone else is not good enough, and I will blame myself. 

I have grown more than I could have ever imagined in the past two years but now I am at a cross-roads standing in a ghost town where at both ends, my demon awaits. I am petrified to take a step, to blink, to breathe. I know when I take that final step and I am face to face with my uglier self, she will lean over and whisper in my ear with a cold, emotionless tone “you are mine”. That is fear, I am my own demon. 

I pray that I will never have to hear her voice or bare her piercing gaze but she is always there. I am trying my hardest to pull away, weak as I am deep inside these brittle bones. But I turn around and see the path I traveled, that once was dry and empty; a place where we had met before. That path is now illuminated, too bright to turn back. So I close my eyes, take a deep breath as I tremble, and take a step, because I know when I turn around there will be light. One day she will not be there, the diverging path will be one, and I will walk with confidence down an illuminated path with the memory of the desert I crossed.

Each day I tell myself, just one more step.

Here I am under a heavy hand. Now more than ever it seems like every point of my being is being pulled at; plucked meticulously. I cannot move on my own, but because I must. I am clinging so desperately to the insignificant amount of whatever is left within me. I pray for deliverance because I am not capable of liberating myself. I want to be free but how can I accept a hand, even my own? My consciousness is clouded and my chest pinned.    I thought I had escaped this and then I looked up.

Here I am under a heavy hand. Now more than ever it seems like every point of my being is being pulled at; plucked meticulously. I cannot move on my own, but because I must. I am clinging so desperately to the insignificant amount of whatever is left within me. I pray for deliverance because I am not capable of liberating myself. I want to be free but how can I accept a hand, even my own? My consciousness is clouded and my chest pinned.    I thought I had escaped this and then I looked up.

This is how I feel today. 
These days I wake up, throw on some lipstick and heels then raise hell. It&#8217;s good to be a woman. And I am one hell of a woman.

This is how I feel today. 

These days I wake up, throw on some lipstick and heels then raise hell. It’s good to be a woman. And I am one hell of a woman.

The key to happiness and success, through google sketchup terminology:
when starting out between the x and y axis, hit control + Z, Orbit tool, Hand tool then Move tool back to the point of origin. 
(step back, change your perspective and start again)

The key to happiness and success, through google sketchup terminology:

when starting out between the x and y axis, hit control + Z, Orbit tool, Hand tool then Move tool back to the point of origin. 

(step back, change your perspective and start again)

How im feelin this mornin

How im feelin this mornin

(Source: canniblizz)

im a little twiggy today&lt;3

im a little twiggy today<3

Smart is the new Sexy.
I always feel much more attractive when I am doing things like developing 24 page business plans. Hard work pays off and we all know that button-down/pencil skirt combo is always a smart choice;)

Smart is the new Sexy.

I always feel much more attractive when I am doing things like developing 24 page business plans. Hard work pays off and we all know that button-down/pencil skirt combo is always a smart choice;)

Want a memorable first date, Cant go wrong pullin this little number.

Want a memorable first date, Cant go wrong pullin this little number.

I used to fall so head over heels for men. Being the one to text them, always thinking of them, hoping for someone to catch me.
Now that is not the case. I discovered my power. Now I designate, sit back, and just watch it all unfold. Let the games begin boys. 

I used to fall so head over heels for men. Being the one to text them, always thinking of them, hoping for someone to catch me.

Now that is not the case. I discovered my power. Now I designate, sit back, and just watch it all unfold. Let the games begin boys. 

Becoming a better woman.
These days I do things for me. 
Work out, Eat smart, Stand tall, Speak sweetly, Try harder, Tie up loose ends, Wait patiently, Take action, Forgive, Believe passionately: Get what you want.

Becoming a better woman.

These days I do things for me. 

Work out, Eat smart, Stand tall, Speak sweetly, Try harder, Tie up loose ends, Wait patiently, Take action, Forgive, Believe passionately: Get what you want.

heyitsanthonys said: Can we have to have another drinking day where we twerk by your pool?

can we do it like now. That was the greatest day of my life.

2014

About:

Following: